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albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 01:52 PM
Complete script is attached as .rtf file on the last post with the last pages. Much easier than reading the whole thing here.


Any critique would be helpful. This is the first few pages of a completed script. Many thanks in advance.




GHOSTS OF ANDROMEDA




FADE IN:


SPACE



A box-shaped, transport vessel hangs motionlessly in the blackness of space.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL - BRIDGE



The lights are flickering. The LARGE, DIGITAL VIEW SCREEN against the far wall, like a large window, displays The endless expanse of space.



No one is at the controls. The only SOUND is that of OXYGEN as it is pumped through the air vents.



Hovering inches above the NAVIGATION CONTROL PANEL, a HOLOGRAPHIC SCREEN displays the words: AUTO-NAVIGATION ACTIVE.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL - KITCHEN



E.C.U. of A YOUNG MAN, mid 20s, sitting at the table with his head down against the metal tabletop. Sleeping.



He straightens abruptly, staring WIDE EYED at CAMERA, SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. An EMBLEM on his uniform shows his name, MATT. Across the top is the name TRANSPORT SHUTTLE ANDROMEDA.



He stops. Turns to see TWO INDIVIDUALS, KIM, mid 20s, and DAWG, early 40s, sitting at the table with him. They're wearing the same uniforms.



Kim is a thin and attractive Chinese woman. Athletic. Her COTTON-WHITE HAIR is so short it looks painted on.



Dawg is a hairless, towering black man wearing a muscle shirt that seems to be a couple sizes too small. They're staring at Matt, not at all surprised at his violent awakening.



MATT

(out of breath)

Sweet Jesus.



DAWG

You, too, huh?



MATT

What?



DAWG

You were dreaming you were being eaten by some alien piece of shit creature.



MATT

How the **** did you know that?



KIM

We had the same dream before waking...

(looks around)

here.



Matt stands. Backs away from table.



MATT

Who are you? What is this place?



DAWG

What's the last thing you remember?



Matt thinks for a moment.



MATT

Going to sleep.



KIM

Where?



Matt jogs his memory some more.



DAWG

You don't know, do you?



MATT

Jesus. What's happening? Why are we here?



Dawg stands. Approaches the exit door but it fails to open.



DAWG

I say we've been kidnapped.



KIM

Why?



Matt analyzes the emblem on his uniform.



MATT

And why are we dressed the same? Our names are on these things.



Kim and Dawg glance down at their names on their uniforms.



DAWG

This doesn't make sense.



Matt approaches the sliding doors and looks up at the motion sensor.



DAWG (CONT'D)

Sensor's broken or jammed by whoever has us here.



Matt locates an electrical box near the door and pulls the cover off. He pulls out a bundle of wire and uses the sharp edge of the electrical box to cut one of them.



Kim and Dawg exchange glances. After cutting the wire, he shorts the exposed wire to the metal box, short circuiting the sliding door's electronics. The door slides open.



ON KIM AND DAWG, REACTING to something they see in the corridor before them as the door opens. Matt joins them and also REACTS.



MATT

Holy shit.



INT. CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS



The corridor is BRIGHTLY LIT. A TRAIL OF BLOOD leads from where the group is standing to a door at the far end.



KIM

I don't like this.



DAWG

A very bad thing happened here, guys. I have a funny feeling things are gonna get worse.



MATT

This can't be real.



Kim bends down and, using her index finger, picks up a blood sample. She rubs the blood between her thumb and index finger, bringing it up close to her nose.



KIM

It's fresh. An hour, maybe.



DAWG

How do you know that?



KIM

I don't know. I just know.

(looks closer at blood)

Something else. It's a mixture.



MATT

A mixture?



KIM

Blood and mucus.



DAWG

Christ.



O.S., SOMETHING HISSES AS IT WALKS across the level above their heads. Everyone glances up.



DAWG (CONT'D)

What the hell was that?



KIM

We're about to find out.



MATT

I say we lock ourselves in the kitchen again and wait 'til this craft reaches its destination.



KIM

What if there is no destination? What if whoever was navigating this ship is dead and we're aimlessly wandering through space?



DAWG

The navigator's not dead.



Kim and Matt glance at Dawg.



DAWG (CONT'D)

I'm the navigator.



MATT

Why didn't you say so before?



DAWG

'Cuz I didn't know until just now. I'm the ****ing navigator. Shit.



KIM

What else do you remember? Where're we going?



DAWG

(thinking)

Uh...Docking Station A. One of five space ports orbiting Earth. That's our destination. It's all a blur right now, but, holy shit, we have to make sure we're still on course.



Dawg starts walking down the corridor to the door at the far end. Kim and Matt follow close behind.



MATT

Do you know what that thing we heard is?



DAWG

We'll deal with it later.



MATT

Deal with it later? Are you ****ing insane, man?!



Matt grabs Dawg by the shoulder. Dawg spins around, SLAMS Matt against the wall.



DAWG

Touch me again and it'll be your ****ing blood all over this place!



KIM

Dawg! Let him go!



MATT

Listen, man, something's out to eat us.



DAWG

You don't know that. It probably doesn't even know we're here.



MATT

Oh, I think it knows.



KIM

It's deaf.



Dawg and Matt turn to face her.



DAWG

What?



KIM

Don't ask how I know this. Probably has something to do with how I know about the blood sample but it can't hear a damn.



MATT

You serious?



KIM

It uses motion to locate it's prey. If you don't move it can't see you.



DAWG

Guys, our survival here depends on how much we can remember. And we better start remembering shit fast.



O.S., more HISSING SOUNDS.

malcolmvexxed
05-19-2005, 07:01 PM
veddy good job. Nice concise action descriptions and engaging dialogue.

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 07:52 PM
Thanks, glad you liked it. http://www.cgtalk.com/images/icons/icon13.gif

Albert

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 07:55 PM
Awesome website, by the way. Really cool drawings.

Albert

Rainer K
05-19-2005, 08:24 PM
ok, great start, nice setting, i'm interested already. I'm no expert, but i thought i'd just add my 2 cents.

It has started at a quite a pace, alot of information very quickly, you've introduced who i'm assuming to be the main characters, and then plunged them into action very quickly, revealing, destination, dream, creature, in a pretty short space. If that was your intention, thats ok, however, maybe you should think about how long this pace is maintained. The introduction of a menace ..great, however there are alot of facts in a very short time..ie their various skills they have, the fact they don't remember where they went to sleep, the uniforms, the ship, the destination, the mucus/blood combination, the blind creature, if these turn out to be very important facts regarding the plot, (maybe they don't i don't know) then perhaps more importance needs to be placed on them, and not rush them all at once...difficult to judge without seeing more of the script.


maybe you want to actually start with a tiny portion of the dream sequence. .....
...although on second thought, that is getting rather passe nowadays, so maybe its a nice touch not not have shown any of the dream sequence that matt was experiencing at all, and just have him waking up screaming.

I like the characters, (for some stupid very stupid reason i've got Steve Zahn in my head as i don't know why), and i do feel intrigued, but i do like the genre, and i could paint (if i could actually paint) a picture of the first scene so incredibly already.

i want to read the rest!

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 08:45 PM
MATT

Kim, you seem to know a lot about this thing. What does it look like?



KIM

I don't know. But I'm sure we're about to find out.



Dawg stares at the electrical box by the sliding door.



DAWG

Matt, work your magic with this thing.



Matt is reluctant to see what's behind door #2. He shakes his head.



MATT

I don't think we should open that door.



DAWG

Matt. Open the ****ing door.



Matt takes several steps back.



DAWG (CONT'D)

Damn it, Matt!



As he approaches Matt to pound his face in, the door slides open. Everyone turns to face what activated the door. The expression on their faces is one of ABSOLUTE HORROR.



THE BALD HEADED CREATURE at the door stands about three feet tall and it's entire body is COVERED IN MUCUS.



It's five foot long, blood-covered tail gently SWAYS back and forth on the floor, SMEARING THE FLOOR WITH BLOOD AND MUCUS.



TWO BULGING EYES AND A MOUTH FULL OF TEETH is all that fit on this odd creature's head. It has no ears. No nose.



KIM

(under her breath)

Nobody ****ing move.



Matt is bathed in sweat. Trembling. CRYING.



DAWG

(to Matt)

Keep it together, man.



The bald headed creature HISSES at them as it walks into the corridor with them.



MATT

(under his breath)

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.



DAWG

Matt. Shut your trap.



The creature scans the area as if sensing the fear. It continues passed Kim, Dawg and Matt, leaving another trail of blood and mucus on the floor.



It disappears into the kitchen from which the group came. Everyone hurries through the open door just as it slides shut.



INT. MAIN CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS



DAWG

Run.



He doesn't have to repeat himself. Kim and Matt follow close behind as Dawg leads the way through the winding corridors.



FURTHER ALONG THE MAIN CORRIDOR -- MOMENTS LATER



Dawg reaches the door to the bridge. Kim and Matt arrive seconds later.



DAWG (CONT'D)

Matt. Get us in there asap!



O.S., the bald headed creature's HISSING ECHOES throughout the ship. Kim worriedly looks back down the corridor.



KIM

Hurry, Matt.



Matt tears apart the door's electrical box and short circuits the electronics inside. The door slides open. Everyone spills into the bridge.



INT. MAIN CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS



The creature is running at top speed toward the bridge.



INT. BRIDGE -- CONTINUOUS



Kim and Matt are standing in the doorway, SCREAMING, paralyzed with fear as the creature runs toward them. O.S., A SHOT RINGS OUT.



When the creature hits the floor it has a SMOLDERING BULLET HOLE in it's forehead.



Kim and Matt turn to face Dawg, who's holding a LARGE WEAPON in his hand. He lowers the weapon. Turn to face a holographic screen and scans the data on it.



DAWG

The ship's been in auto-navigate since we left Craylon 5.

(beat)

Twenty years ago.



MATT

Craylon 5? That name sounds familiar. Twenty years ago? How's that possible?



KIM

Cryo-sleep.



MATT

What?



DAWG

We're supposed to be in our cryo-beds. Suspended animation.



Matt thinks for a moment. He sits down on one of the leather chairs facing the large VIEW SCREEN in front of him.



FLASHBACK



INT. CRYO ROOM



TWO MEN are WRESTLING on the floor. It's Dawg and Matt. Kim is standing nearby, YELLING at them to stop.



Matt has a gun. He jams it against Dawg's neck but before he can pull the trigger, Dawg forces it away and HEAD BUTTS him unconscious.



Kim rushes to Dawg, who's bleeding from one eye.



KIM

You okay?



DAWG

I'm fine.



Dawg lifts Matt and carries him over to one of the cryo-capsules, laying him inside and shutting the glass cover.



DAWG (CONT'D)

(activating cryo-capsule)

Sweet dreams, asshole.



Matt wakes. He tries to break out.



HIS POV FROM INSIDE



Dawg is smiling. Waving bye-bye. He and Kim embrace. Matt's VISION BLURS as the sleeping gas completely engulfs him.



PRESENT DAY



INT. BRIDGE -- CONTINUOUS



Kim approaches Matt.



KIM

You remembered something just now.



Matt is staring at Dawg.



DAWG

What the hell you looking at?



Matt says nothing.



KIM

Matt, you okay?



MATT

I'm fine. It's nothing.



KIM

What did you remember? Tell us.



MATT

It's nothing. It's not important.



KIM

Anything we can remember about our past is important, Matt. You have to tell us, please.



MATT

(blows top)

I said it's not important! Leave me alone!



Kim turns to face Dawg.



KIM

How long before we reach that docking station?



DAWG

Eighteen hours.



Kim kneels down by the dead creature's side and studies it.



KIM

We were bringing it back with us from Craylon 5.

(beat)

Why?



MATT

Who the **** cares. I'm glad the ****er's dead.



DAWG

What makes you think we were bringing it back? I say he got on board undetected.



Kim, realizing something, jumps to her feet.



KIM

Shit!



MATT/DAWG

What?



KIM

He's not all we were bringing back!



She quickly exits the bridge.



MATT

Kim, where're you going?



DAWG

Follow her. I'll try and establish contact with the station.



Matt follows her down the main corridor, turning right into a much smaller, tighter corridor until they reach a CIRCULAR DOOR at the end.



The door has no motion sensor overhead. Instead, there is a HAND SCANNER nearby.



MATT

Where are we?



Kim places her hand over it but the device fails to activate.



KIM

Specimen holding area.



MATT

Specimen holding area? Please tell me there aren't more of those things in here.



She wipes her hand on her pants and tries again. The device fails again.



KIM

Come on, piece of shit! Read my hand!



MATT

What's in here, Kim? What kind of specimens we talking about?

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 09:13 PM
More pages of the script.


KIM

They're nothing like what we saw back there. Can you open the door or not?



Matt nears the device. He places his hand on the scanner and enters some data into the keypad with his other hand. A BRIGHT BLUE SCANNING LIGHT moves underneath his hand. O.S., a COMPUTER'S VOICE SPEAKS.



COMPUTER'S VOICE (V.O.)

(female voice)

Place your hand firmly on the scanner and wait for the scanning process to terminate.



MATT

I ****ing did that!



KIM

Nothing on this sorry ass ship works!



Matt tears apart the scanner and, using his mastery of electronics, short circuits the necessary circuitry.



The circular door opens. Kim immediately leaps inside. Matt hesitantly follows.



INT. SPECIMEN LAB -- CONTINUOUS



This lab is the largest room in the ship. HUNDREDS OF METAL CAGES that were once stacked on top of one another now lay scattered throughout the floor.



There is blood everywhere. Each one has its door broken apart. Kim is in tears.



MATT

Son of a bitch.



Kim leans down and picks up a DIGITAL TABLET. A large crack runs horizontally across the screen. She glances up at the empty cages.



KIM

(teary-eyed)

So many life forms. Gone in an instant. It ate them all.



MATT

(remembering)

We were sent to Craylon 5 to take what we could before the asteroid hit.



KIM

And now Craylon 5 is no more. And Dawg just put a bullet through the last surviving life form from that planet.



Kim approaches one particular cage laying on its side. She attaches a cable between her electronic tablet and a small electronic box on the cage. Kim enters her password on the tablet.



INSERT ELECTRONIC TABLET



Across the broken screen are the words: DOWNLOADING DATA FILES...please wait.



INT. BRIDGE -- CONTINUOUS



Dawg is at the controls trying to establish a communications link with the docking station.



DAWG

This is the transport vessel Andromeda en route to Docking Station A from Craylon 5. Estimated arrival in 18 hours. Do you read me?



Nothing.



ON BALD HEADED CREATURE, as the bullet hole in its forehead fills in with mucus. Healing. He opens his eyes. Stands. He scans his surroundings.



HIS POV



Due to Dawg's lack of motion, he blends in with his surroundings. The creature sees nothing.



DAWG (CONT'D)

If you can hear me, something odd has happened aboard our vessel.



He turns around so he can see the dead creature. The creature is no longer there.



DAWG (CONT'D)

Holy shit.



INT. SPECIMEN LAB -- CONTINUOUS



Kim and Matt are staring into the electronic tablet as a VIDEO CLIP PLAYS.



INSERT TABLET



The video is that of the inside of the cage Kim's tablet is attached to. The date shown across the top of the screen is 5/15/2110.



In the video, Kim is shown placing a mouse-sized creature into the cage. It's the same bald headed, mucus covered creature loose in the vessel but a much smaller, cuter version.



As Kim fast forwards the video, the creature is shown growing quite rapidly. In one scene, he's rocking the cage back and forth. Biting the bars. Biting himself.



Another scene shows the creature the size it is now. It manages to bend the bars enough for it to escape.



BACK TO SCENE



Kim and Matt exchange glances.



INSERT TABLET



In the video, nearby cages of other CREATURES are visible. The bald headed creature overturns these cages and breaks into them so he can eat whatever's inside.



BACK TO SCENE



KIM

He ate every last one.



Dawg's voice ECHOES from overhead speakers.



DAWG

(speaker)

Damn thing's alive, guys. Get back to bridge, now!



MATT

No way.



KIM

We have to get out of here.



She drops the tablet and she and Matt hurry to the exit door.



INT. BRIDGE -- MOMENTS LATER



Kim and Matt enter the bridge. They find Dawg still trying to communicate with Docking Station 5. Matt stares at the puddle of blood and mucus on the floor where the creature lay dead earlier.



MATT

We're gonna die aren't we?



Kim grabs hold of a large piece of equipment.



KIM

Help me move this thing to the door.



Matt helps her drag the heavy device across the floor toward the door.



DAWG

(into radio)

This is the transport vessel Andromeda returning from a mission to Craylon 5. We have a situation up here.

(no response)

Damn it!



Kim approaches him.



KIM

We brought it aboard.



DAWG

What?



KIM

Our mission to Craylon 5 was to save as many life forms as possible before the asteroid hit. We were bringing all sorts of life forms back to earth.



MATT

It was such a tiny, cute baby when we brought it aboard.



ON COMMUNICATIONS PANEL, as it comes alive with a VOICE from Docking Station A.



MALE VOICE

(heavy static)

Andr..da. Come in. ...ocking Station A.



DAWG

This is the Andromeda. Communications is bad. Can you...



MALE VOICE

(interrupting)

Come in, Andromeda. Hope ..you guys a... awake. Wel..me home.



Dawg turns to face Kim and Matt.



DAWG

They can't hear us.



EXT. DOCKING STATION A -- SPACE



DOZENS OF SHUTTLES are moving to and from the enormous space station. Earth is in the background.

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 09:17 PM
INT. DOCKING STATION A - COMMUNICATIONS ROOM -- CONTINUOUS



HEAVILY DECORATED MILITARY TYPES are standing around a nervous, sweat-covered COMMUNICATIONS GUY, JERRY, early 20s.



JERRY

(into radio)

Captain Grossman of the transport vessel Andromeda, this is Docking Station A requesting a status report on the life forms you carry aboard your ship.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA -- CONTINUOUS



Dawg, Matt and Kim exchange glances.



KIM

Captain Grossman?



MATT

Who the hell's Captain Grossman?



DAWG

It doesn't matter, now. He was probably eaten by our slimy friend along with God knows how many others.



KIM

Why were we spared?



INT. DOCKING STATION A -- CONTINUOUS



JERRY

Do you copy, Captain Grossman? If you can hear me, for some reason your ship terminated its auto report generation while you guys were in cryo-sleep.



A GENERAL leans in close to Jerry.



GENERAL

Is there a problem, son?



Jerry tries to remain cool.



JERRY

We have a glitch in communications.

(smiles)

Small glitch, that's all. Everything's fine.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA - BRIDGE -- CONTINUOUS



Dawg backs away from the communications panel in frustration. He grabs the gun off the control panel and checks to make sure it has plenty of ammo.



DAWG

We can't dock.



MATT

What do you mean we can't dock?



DAWG

Not with this thing running loose in here. If we dock and this thing gets out...



KIM

Dawg's right. We can't risk the lives of those on the docking station. We have to kill this thing before we arrive.



MATT

Kill it? Dawg just put a ****ing bullet through its head and it's still alive! How do you kill something like that?



TIGHT ON DAWG.



DAWG

We get a bigger gun.



INT. STORAGE ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER



Dawg grabs two LARGE GUNS from an open locker and hands them to Matt and Kim. He pulls out a much LARGER WEAPON for himself.



MATT

Why do you get the bigger gun?



Dawg folds open the butt of the gun and checks it for ammo. He snaps it back.



DAWG

Because I'm ****ing bigger than you are.

(turns to Kim)

Ready?



KIM

Let's do this.



MATT

What if we miss and blow a hole through the vessel's hull?



DAWG

Don't miss.



INT. MAIN CORRIDOR -- MOMENTS LATER



The three of them cautiously make their way down the corridor in search of the creature.



DAWG

Kim, you take the kitchen and specimen lab. Matt will search the engine room and the cryo-room and I get the rest of the ship.



MATT

I have a better idea.



He approaches a BLACK, FLAT MONITOR and enters data using the built-in keypad. Dawg and Kim exchange glances.



INSERT MONITOR



The layout of the vessel is displayed. FOUR BLINKING LIGHTS are shown. Three of them are huddled together in the main corridor. The fourth is some distance away.



MATT (CONT'D)

(facing Dawg and Kim)

Cryo-Room.



DAWG

I'm impressed. Let's go kick some mucus ass.



EXT. CRYO-ROOM ENTRANCE -- MOMENTS LATER



The three of them are standing before the closed door to the cryo-room. Matt is looking for a way in.



MATT

We have a problem.



KIM

What is it?



MATT

The door can only be opened from the inside.



DAWG

This door can't be closed from out here, right?



MATT

That's correct.



DAWG

And we're all outside.



KIM

So who closed the door? Could our slimy friend have closed it?



MATT

You need a password to close or open this door.



KIM

Let me see if I got this right. This door is normally always open, right?



MATT

Yes.



KIM

The only way to close it is from the inside when we're all getting ready to go to sleep and the only way to open it is if someone from the inside opens it.



MATT

Where're you going with this?



DAWG

How did we get out? We're all standing here outside this room. This door should be open.



MATT

Shit. Good question.



DAWG

I have another one. How'd the little bastard get in?



MATT

Ventilation system.



He glances up at the ventilation opening in the ceiling. It's a small four inch by four inch opening.

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 09:19 PM
MATT (CONT'D)

There's no way we can get in. We're screwed.



DAWG

Everybody stand back.



MATT

What are you gonna do?



DAWG

I'm getting us in.



Matt and Kim stand some distance away while Dawg points his weapon at the door. He FIRES. The BULLET RICOCHETS off the door, STRIKING a CEILING LAMP.



DAWG (CONT'D)

Son of a bitch!



MATT

Impenetrable door.



DAWG

No shit.



KIM

What now?



DAWG

We stay alive long enough to warn the others when we dock.



INT. BRIDGE -- MOMENTS LATER



ON VENTILATION OPENING, as it's being sealed shut with tape.



WIDE ANGLE



Dawg is on the communications panel trying again to link up with the docking station. Matt leaps off the chair he was standing on while sealing the vent openings.



MATT

Someone tell me again how a piece of duct tape's gonna stop this thing from coming in?



KIM

He can see the air molecules as they pass through. With the tape in place, there's no air flow into this room.



MATT

He can see air molecules?



KIM

He can see anything that moves no matter the size. Of all the life forms we were bringing back, he's the one the military had the most interest in.



DAWG

For years they couldn't find anyone to support the idea of removing it from its natural habitat on Craylon 5 to study it here on earth.



KIM

The asteroid changed all of that. They were given permission to remove it from Craylon 5 only if all other life forms were removed as well.

(beat)

We had the world's largest natural habitat built on earth to support all of them.



Matt sits down, becoming visibly ill as memories of a time long forgotten re-emerge.



KIM (CONT'D)

Matt, you okay?



ON MATT, breathing heavily, sweating, as he looks up at Kim.



FLASHBACK



INT. DOCKING STATION A - DIMLY LIT ROOM



A MAN in military clothes hands Matt a metal briefcase.



MILITARY MAN

Your top priority is the safe return of that specimen. Do you understand, Mr. Larson?



Matt nods.



MILITARY MAN (CONT'D)

Once you activate the explosive, you have one hour to get as far from Craylon 5 as possible.

(beat)

No one aboard that vessel must know the truth.



MATT

What if I'm found out?



MILITARY MAN

You make sure they can't tell anyone else about it. Do I make myself clear?



MATT

Yes, sir.



PRESENT DAY



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA - BRIDGE



Matt closes his eyes. Lowers his head.



MATT

There was never an asteroid.



Dawg turns to face Matt.



DAWG

What?



MATT

I'm responsible for Craylon 5's destruction.



KIM

That's impossible. An asteroid destroyed Craylon 5.



Matt shakes his head.



FLASHBACK



EXT. MOUNTAINS OF CRAYLON 5 -- DAY



It's the brightest, hottest day imaginable as TWO SUNS set high in the sky.



A SMALL 4-WHEELED ROVER cruises the barren landscape.



INT. 4-WHEELED ROVER -- CONTINUOUS



Matt drives. A metal briefcase lays in the passenger seat.



MATT (V.O.)

There was never an asteroid headed for Craylon 5.



Matt opens the briefcase. Resting snugly in grey foam is MIRROR-POLISHED, BASEBALL-SIZED SPHERE. Matt caresses it.



MATT (V.O.) (CONT'D)

My name's not Matt. My real name is Arthur Larson. I work for the military. Shortly after life was discovered on Craylon 5, my superiors took special interest in our slimy, bald headed friend.



EXT. 4-WHEELED ROVER -- CONTINUOUS



The rover skids to a halt in the middle of nowhere. Matt exits with briefcase in hand and kneels down on the sand. He opens the briefcase. Removes the sphere.



MATT (V.O.)

But when legislation banned the removal of any life form from its natural habitat, they fabricated the asteroid story.



KIM (V.O.)

Oh my God.



Matt sets the sphere down in the sand and stands. He pulls from his pant pocket a REMOTE CONTROL and presses a button.



ON SPHERE, glowing red hot. The sand around it MELTS like butter. The sphere sinks quickly, disappearing from view in less than a second.



Matt throws the remote control away and enters the rover to leave.



PRESENT DAY



Dawg approaches Matt. Stands within inches from him.



DAWG

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't bash your face in.



MATT

No one was supposed to get hurt. It was a simple mission, really.



FLASHBACK



CRAYLON 5



INT. 4-WHEELED ROVER -- DAY



Matt starts up the rover and prepares to leave when a second rover pulls up by his side. Inside this second rover is CAPTAIN GROSSMAN and TWO OTHER CREW MEMBERS.



CAPTAIN GROSSMAN

Odd to see you out here, Matt.



MATT

(surprised)

Captain Grossman, what are you doing way out here?



CAPTAIN GROSSMAN

That's my question to you.

(glances at the ground)

What is it you put in the ground, son?



Matt says nothing.



CAPTAIN GROSSMAN (CONT'D)

Answer me, damn it!



MATT

(nervous)

I'm sorry, sir. I have orders.



CAPTAIN GROSSMAN

Orders? Orders from who?



Matt pulls out a gun and FIRES SEVERAL SHOTS into the Captain's rover, killing everyone inside.



PRESENT DAY



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA - BRIDGE



The GUNSHOTS STILL RINGING in Matt's head as he buries his face in his hands and WEEPS.



KIM

I don't believe this. They used us.



Dawg hurries to the control panel and begins entering data into the keypad.



MATT

What are you doing?

albertbarrera
05-19-2005, 09:22 PM
Okay, these are the last pages. I thought it'd be better if I post the whole thing. :)


DAWG
Course correction.



MATT

Course correction? You said we were on course.



DAWG

They're not getting what they want, Matt. If they want it they're gonna have to come after us and get it!



KIM

This is insane, Dawg. Let's just give them what they want.



SHIP'S COMPUTER

Course correction request denied.



DAWG

What?! It won't let me do it!



ON VIEW SCREEN, the docking station is clearly visible in the distance.



KIM

We're already here. There's no turning back.



INT. DOCKING STATION A -COMMUNICATIONS ROOM -- CONTINUOUS



Jerry, the nervous communications guy, talks into his headset as the MILITARY PRESENCE in the room grows.



JERRY

This is Docking Station A to Transport Vessel Andromeda. Come in, Andromeda.

(beat)

Before you can dock we need that life form status report. Copy?



Nothing. Matt faces his SUPERVISOR and shrugs.



SUPERVISOR

Keep trying.



A GENERAL approaches Jerry's supervisor.



GENERAL

Which docking bay will they be docking on?



SUPERVISOR

Docking bay ten.



The general faces one of the COMMANDERS.



GENERAL

Assemble your men around docking bay ten. No one gets off that vessel unless that thing's contained.



The commander nods and exits the room.



SUPERVISOR

What thing? What's in that vessel, General?



GENERAL

Not your problem. Your problem is establishing a link with the vessel. I suggest you solve it before it docks.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA - BRIDGE -- CONTINUOUS



Jerry's voice can be HEARD from the communications panel.



JERRY'S VOICE

(on speaker)

Come in, Andromeda. If you can hear me, please send us a status report on the condition of the specimens you have and also the condition of your crew.



Dawg pushes aside the large piece of equipment blocking off the entrance to the bridge.



MATT

Where're you going?



DAWG

I don't know about you but I'm getting off this death trap as soon as we dock.



With those words he disappears into the main corridor. Matt and Kim follow.



EXT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA -- CONTINUOUS



The vessel's LANDING PADS EXTEND as it nears the station's tenth docking bay.



INT. DOCKING STATION A - BAY 10 -- MOMENTS LATER



DOZENS OF ARMED SOLDIERS stand ready for Andromeda's arrival. A portion of the overhead ceiling opens as Andromeda gently floats downward from the level above. It lands.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA -- CONTINUOUS



Dawg, Matt and Kim are standing in front of the exit door. They take a deep breath. O.S., the bald headed creature HISSES.



KIM

(anxious)

Come on.



A GREEN LIGHT over the exit door lights up. The door slowly slides upward.



EXT. TRANSPORT VESSEL ANDROMEDA -- CONTINUOUS



ON OPENING DOOR, as soldiers standing nearby prepare to enter the vessel.



As the door opens we notice something peculiar. Dawg, Matt and Kim are not standing there. The soldiers rush inside.



INT. TRANSPORT VESSEL - MAIN CORRIDOR -- MOMENTS LATER



The soldiers quickly, yet cautiously, make their way down the corridor to the cryo-room.



Once they get to the closed door, one of them attaches A SMALL EXPLOSIVE DEVICE on the door. Everyone stands back.



The door EXPLODES. The soldiers rush in. As the dust clears, SIX CRYO-CAPSULES are visible.



THREE ARE EMPTY. The glass entry covers of the other three have been broken into. There's blood everywhere.



SOLDIER #1

Sweet Jesus.



E.C.U. of capsules. Dawg's, Matt's and Kim's PARTIALLY EATEN BODIES are in their blood-stained capsules.



SOLDIER #2

They never knew what hit them.



SOLDIER #1

Where're the other three?



EXT. TRANSPORT VESSEL -- MOMENTS LATER



Several soldiers exit the vessel carrying a SPHERICAL, GLASS CAGE between them. In the cage is the bald headed creature.



Also exiting the vessel are soldiers carrying three stretchers. On each stretcher is a BLACK BODY BAG.



With everyone off the vessel, the exit door begins to close. THREE GHOSTLY FIGURES are seen inside.



Dawg, Matt and Kim wrap their arms around one another as they disappear into the ship. The door closes shut.



FADE OUT.



THE END

flawedprefect
05-23-2005, 07:23 AM
A piece of advice: Mysteries are better shown - not told. You can trim back much of your dialogue, because your characters are stating what should be obvious in the frame. Experiment by using looks of recognition instead of giving a character a line to explain his/her confusion at a situation.

albertbarrera
05-23-2005, 11:21 AM
Thanks for the advice. You're right, dialogue needs to be trimmed considerably. I appreciate you taking the time to read the script!

regards,

Albert

malcolmvexxed
05-23-2005, 05:31 PM
can you post as an attachment please? only cause it's so many pages

albertbarrera
05-23-2005, 07:43 PM
I've got the script attached - being a newbie here I hadn't seen where I could upload the file. Let me know what you think. Got some good feedback so far. Thanks!


regards,

Albert

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