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0utlander
05-11-2005, 10:54 AM
Hey,

Probblay should have put this in this thread instead of the cinematography one on 2nd thoughts...so i have.

Im creating a short action scene for my postgraduate study at uni. Ive got a rough animatic out and i'd be great to hear some feedback on it. Note: at this stage there is NO TIMING in the shorts... im focusing on the camera postions and cuts atm. So scrub though it at your own pace :)

Additions: when camera goes "grey" for a bit the lights are going out on the train and hero is acting on this distration. Also at the end he has a grin on his face and it fades to black. just er.. imagine this as u watch :)

thanks :-)

http://members.iinet.net.au/~bennettc/animatic_web.mov (2 meg)

kiwi8
05-11-2005, 04:17 PM
looks awesome, great potential. I really like the shot where the camera is below him looking up. The end gets little confusing, and really short. i can imagine couple of shots; where the camera is outside the train and goes in, defocused shot at the far end of the room looking at the main character, and maybe one where the camera is looking in plan view down on the characters head, like when the 3 evil characters inter camer could pan from the shot of the door as they enter and moves on top follows to the door as they walk in and goes behind them as the first two evil characters take thier seats and as they sit down you see the main character again. I think thier are 4 areas that should be focused on in timeline, the beginning of course to introduce the main character ( give something that tells the views little more about him ), when the 3 evil character enters ( who are they, what are they doesnt have to be long but something besides how they look, maybe a shot of them before they enter the train room are they edgy/confident/?), when the main character gets ready ( good music would add greatly to this scene), and the main fight depending how you show who these people are would reflect how it ends.

fwtep
05-11-2005, 05:40 PM
Not bad. The camera jumps the 180 line a couple of times, which makes it confusing, but it's a good first attempt. I'd say concentrate on telling the story rather than just trying to come up with cool shots.

Fred

ericsmith
05-11-2005, 06:12 PM
I agree with the crossing the line issue. In case you're not aware of what this is all about, there is an imaginary line that connects the key objects of interest in a scene. It's usually between characters, but it can also be between a character and an object of focus. The thing you don't want to do is have the camera on one side of that line, and then cut to a camera on the other side. If you need to cross the line, one way to do it is to create a tracking shot where the line is crossed in a move, or move the line itself during a shot (ie. move the characters across the field of view).

One other thing that may help in this particular shot is to have a defining light source come from one side of the scene. I'm assuming that this scene is happening at night, so this will make it more difficult, but you might consider a line of streetlights that always come in from one side. That will help with the orientation issues a bit.

But the best thing to do is respect that line.

Eric

0utlander
05-12-2005, 09:25 AM
thanks guys for the suggestions. I will definatly take them on board and re work it. cheers.

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