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paul.yan
04-18-2005, 07:58 AM
http://www.paul-yan.com/temp/cool-1.jpg (http://www.paul-yan.com/temp/cool-1.mov)
This is a work in progress piece I'd like to use for my demo reel. Critiques please!!
Coolest Thing (http://www.paul-yan.com/temp/cool-1.mov) (0:05s Quicktime Sorenson3 - 3.27Mb)

mimo8
04-18-2005, 11:29 AM
hi paul,

crazy workbeast, just finished a great short movie and instead of going to hawaii for some weeks he allready starts tuning his demoreel :D

the animation you linked is fine, couldnīt say much bout the animation. perhaps his left arm should swing a bit more / not stop so abrupt when he says "oh wait there you are" and turns arround.
but I am sure this will give a great intro to your demoreel. blur, pixar and ILM can are allready counting days, running to theyr postboxes every morning, just to see if your reel is allready there.
so hurry up, dont let them wait too long (otherwise i will be ready with my reel first :wip: )

StuartVarrall
04-18-2005, 11:45 AM
I presume this is going at the start of your showreel, great idea!

His upper body movements [arms] are good in terms of showing his excitement, but his legs don't reflect his mood. If you cover up his top half and concentrate on his legs you wouldn't know what he was feeling because his turn is so slow.

Be careful of his right arm at the end. In silhouette it looks like his arm is coming out of his stomach for the last 2 seconds.

He looks at the camera for the whole piece. In relality we only make eye contact for roughly 20% of the time. For the middle section, 'i'm so excited, i've got the coolist thing' I'd have him look away for some of it. Just briefly, so his eyes aren't so staring. The blinks are timed nicely though.

At the beginning maybe have a slight camera move in, to show that we've just come into his personal zone. That way his reaction is more meaningful rather than at the moment we get the feeling we've always been there and he's written all that on the board ignoring us...

hope thats helpful in some way,

cheers,

stu

Capel
04-19-2005, 10:25 AM
hey, man. nice to see you're working on other stuff as well. geez do you ever sleep?

I like the idea, and a lot of it is working.

first off the great stuff. when he goes, "ah, i'm so excited. I've got...." all the way to the end is really good stuff. still needs to be tweaked, but the poses and timing are going great.

the "oh hey, there you are!" seems like you've got one too many poses in there, where he comes up, and then turns his body a bit, and you're hitting both those poses a little too hard as well. it's a little jarring. i think his pose might be a little unnatural, like he's turning his torso, but keeping his feet planted on the ground when he should be using them to compensate.

when he starts to walk and turn toward the camera, his left foot is moving a little too slow, i'd say. also, when he puts his foot down after the contact pose, you're taking 6 frames for this. a good general rule is to never go above 2, and more often than not, just use 1. right now it's looking strange, and also you've got his right ankle rotating out before his left one is finished. that's taking 8 frames. i'd cut it in half. it seems a bit floaty as is. also, his right arm is floating after "...so excited."

having said all that, i think the rest is looking pretty awesome. this shot is gonna be a big deal cuz you're starting your reel out with it. If it's not the best piece on your demo, then it shouldn't be first, IMHO. but keep going the way you are and i'm sure you'll have studios knocking down your door. good luck!

Bartek|3D
04-20-2005, 08:06 PM
Hey Paul,

I'm a big fan of your work :)!

Regarding this piece...
I think it's coming along nicely. Pretty nice poses, nothing too extreme, but it depends if you want to keep it subtle?
I think it would add a bit if he looked at us then back at the board, and then quickly back at us again at the beginning. What do you think?

Bartek|3D
04-20-2005, 08:30 PM
Oh one more thing I noticed. When he takes a step and his left hand comes down, his left foot slides/pivots. It looks odd because it's pretty much impossible to do that unless the floor is covered in oil or somethin! ;)
I would make it pivot on the heel in order to make it look more believable!

paul.yan
04-27-2005, 01:52 AM
Thank you guys for an indepth critique! Having just graduated, I'm totally looking forward to dailies with these sort of comments! Its such an inspiring process

The clip I posted was an intro for my demo reel, so I thought - heck, why don't I just post the whole thing and see what people think? So, here's the demo reel - with my changes to the "so cool" clip:

PAUL YAN'S DEMO REEL WIP (http://www.paul-yan.com/temp/demoReel-draft2.mov) (1 minute Sorenson3 15.5Mb)

Dresse
04-27-2005, 08:52 AM
maybe in the beginning you could let the guy run very excited to his beamer, giving signs that the camera should take a seat, and than turn it on, the images projected on the huge screen is than your reel :)
just some id's :)
great work though

adam-crockett
04-27-2005, 06:46 PM
Start off with a double-take. Then turn him when he says "oh hey there you are". His torso twisted around like that on his first line looks so uncomfortable. Mabye have him gesture at the camera when he says there you are, like the way you'd point at a friend if you spotted them in a crowd.

I like the pose that you hit when he says " oh Im sooo excited" but I think it needs to be pushed more extreme. Bend his spine up and back more. Make his excitement travel up his spine to his head, stetching him up and back, then on "excited" release that tension through the follow through gesture he does with his hands, and push his spine more the other way, following through.

Lose the Karate chop (the horizontal one, I like the vertical one) at the end when he says "show you". Just let his hand drop.

Love it!

EPICI
04-27-2005, 07:16 PM
Hi

the demo reel, is well done. It is funny the monster at the end, with female voice.

EPICI

PixelTales
04-27-2005, 07:56 PM
Hey great little acting piece you have there. The timing, spacing, and acting all look great. Although when I first watched it I felt there was something that was off but I couldn't quite place it. When I scrubbed through the frames I realised what it was. Its the weight shifts, they are way too subtle. As it is now on each step that he takes as soon as his foot leaves the ground he would fall right over. His weight is too evenly distributed between both legs the whole time. To be able to take a step a person has to first anticipate that step by placing their hips above the weight bearing leg leaving the other leg free to take a step. Remember just about any action a person or character can do first starts with the hips. To be able to sell any acting shot it has to be first physically beleivable, no matter how exaggerated or subtle the action.

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