Short Clip: Crazy Mom!

[pritishd]

Hi there,

I just saw your animation and here are my comments

1)Body Language
I think it is good. It is not stiff, and you did a good job of the moving hold. I would not recommend changing it.
2)Facial Expression and Eyes
There is a point in the dialogue (my mother...my mother) where there is a lot of inner thought process, which that can shown through the eyes. It's kind of difficult to describe, so the best thing I can explain is through an example. I hope you seen animated "Gopher" by Blur studios.
It's a really awsome short, and there is point in the film where there is a inner thought process.
http://ads.cgnetworks.com/nexus/172x90stash.jpg
If you scan through it, the inner thought process is right before this frame. Observse the eye moment and the facial expression. If you can implement that in your animation. It will be great.
3)Lighting:-It's bit too dark, you might lose some expression when watching on a computer. Check increase the overall brightness of it in Aftereffects
4)Camera Move:-I feel a bit nausatic. You can take it out, cause I feel it doesn't add much to the joke.

Well that's my opinion. The rest is upto you

Pritish

[RickJohnston]

pritishd: Thanks for the review, I have seen "Gopher" and I will have to see what I can do. I was thinking about taking the camera turn out and just moving it back so you will see the window with no one in it and then she jumps up in the end, with no camera move. I will work on the thinking part more tonight, as well as messing with the lighting, it appears bright on my cpu, but i think its because i have a very bright lcd, so i will have to check it out on another monitor.

Thanks again for the crit!

[RickJohnston]

Ok I went through and changed some of the things brought up. I have brightened up the scene a lot as well as worked on the eye movements and trying to convey his thoughts.



Here it is!



http://www.rj3d.net/Movies/Crazy_Mom_Final.mpg


Hope you like it!

[pritishd]

Hi there,

The lighting and camera move is definately better.

As far as the eyemovement for the inner thought process, I would use this formula

Hold - 5 frame
Move to another location - 1 frame
Hold - 5 frame

Also make sure that the movement is visible.

The mouth shapes seem to off. Here is a suggestion. Watch your animation without listening to the sound. And try to word the dialogue while the character speak. Note the differences. The most noticible one is the M.

Also I recommend you to post it on CGchar. I am sure you will get a more better response there as it is forums for animators

Cheers
Pritish

[RickJohnston]

pritishd: Thanks for the crit, I am going to try out the eye movement you said, I had done something like that at first with he quick movements, but it just didn’t seem right, I will give it another try and post up the results. I have checked out CGChar as well and I will start posting my work there as well, thanks for the crit!

[yoa010]

Good animation man

[RickJohnston]

yoa010: Thanks! I know it still needs some work, but a bunch of my stuff got put on hold. I attended FMX 05 in Germany the past week. Good time, lot of good speakers, I also attended Ed Hooks Acting for animators class. So now its back to work.

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