rough ninja pencil test

[moshi]

this is not perfect so please HELP ME OUT!!!

thanks :)

Michael

[LucentDreams]

Well You want help, and I have now had time to watch you pencil test so I can offer some criticism.

First of all very nice style, definitely points in my book, I'm a husge fan of UPA and McCracken and Tartakovsky's work lke Samurai Jack and the Powerpuff Girls. Only crit on the design might be his feet in the way they animate buts thats all opinionative so ignore that.

The motion is quite nice, you seem to have cross dissolved the frames before and after the the swing frame with the speedlines and multiple drawings, I would scratch the dissolve thing lets the frames show as is, or add some inbetweens (should play fine on its own. I must add though that its great to see you drawing the keys first then breakdowns then all yor inbetweens, ans somewhat rought too (your much tighter than I am, but I found fodoing a graphic style I was drawing tighter than usual too).

you timing is quite nice, I think his antic for the swing could be a little stronger, would help the appearance of the swing being fast when you get rid of the crossdisolves between drawings. You could also have an overshoot rather than easig out of the end of the swing, but I think the easing out adds a nice bit of snappy timing, slow quick slow kinda thing. really fantastic stuff and nice poses.

Last but not least, there are seriosu volume issues in the sword throughout the animation and with the characters head and shoulders in the first movement where he sorta settles, he really shrinks.

is this for a personal film or studio work, you seem to have a lot of training this lookes very good. Will it be for telivision or flash?

[moshi]

Hey Kaiskai,

That second post is me excited and wanting to show of my drawings!! :) sorry if it came across as impatient I just wanted to show someone!

Thanks heaps for taking the time to view my work. I too am a bit of a fan for the cartoons mentioned, and everything I do has a more graphic simplified style to it. So I am glad you like it!

I ditched the cross dissolves (although they really weren't meant to be that) and added an in-between drawing before the blur shot and looks HEAPS better so thanks for picking up on what was bugging me.

Hmmm...I may try adding another drawing or two into the pull back on the sword before the swing...will see how it looks.

By the volume issues in the sword do you think it is changing height and width??? Not sure what you mean by this. Let me know.

This is work is or myself, creating an animated series which I will be creating everything as a one man show kind of thing. Will be for film/TV but will be creating a web site with an animated teaser in flash.

Will post the second pass drawings real soon. So thanks again.

Michael
moshi design
http://www.moshidesign.com

[dmcgrath]

You really must give more time for your stuff to be seen. There is alot of stuff here and I myself get lost all the time looking around.
My main crit, the animation is a really great start. On using a sword, his technique is a bit off. I might be a pain in the ass to say this, but it doesnt look right. I played it a few times and what I can get from it is the motion is wrong. He starts to swing it like a baseball bat, but with very little footwork (that part is okay). But then he changes somewhere in mid swing into a thrust. It doesnt look exactly correct. If I was just watching this and enjoying it, I probably wouldnt have noticed it. But there is my crit for you. :thumbsup: Keep working at it and I will try and catch your next pencil test.

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