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View Full Version : THE COMIC STRIP : Jeremy Hamilton 2005 : Legends of Old Earth (temp title.)

Albius
03-02-2005, 05:03 AM
Well, here's my first attempt at a graphic novel -- future pages will probably just be black and white, in a more traditional comic-book style.

The narrator (the cat-like creature at the bottom) is from an alternate universe in which humans never existed, but his species developed a civilization on earth using a form of telekinesis:


http://img162.exs.cx/img162/9744/graphicnovel17ir.jpg



Any suggestions or criticisms would be very appreciated. I plan to work on this very casually, so I don't really know how many pages I'll finish, or when I'll make more pages. This page was painted entirely in Photoshop Elements 2.

--Jeremy Hamilton
Swizzle
03-02-2005, 06:36 AM
Wow, this is great stuff. I really like the narrative style from what you've shown. The only thing I might change is the cat guy. I'd suggest you make him less catlike so that he seems more alien. Give him fingers, especially.
coCoKNIght
03-02-2005, 08:44 AM
Why, I like the catlike creature very much... Why would they need hands?!
That's a very cool first page, well done! :thumbsup:
Swizzle
03-02-2005, 04:03 PM
Why, I like the catlike creature very much... Why would they need hands?!
That's a very cool first page, well done! :thumbsup:Kinda difficult to build stuff with your tongue...
Albius
03-02-2005, 05:16 PM
That's why they have telekinesis (you see, he was impressed that humans built a civilization with "only their hands", because it's much easier to do with telekinesis)-- I figure that just as humans developed fingers to climb trees and then built a civilization from that, the cats developed telekinesis (or the "Simulated Mass Technique", to use technobabble) to trap prey, then likewise built a civilization.

I actually intended for him to look more alien; I'll have to implement that in later pages.

Thanks for the replies.
Swizzle
03-02-2005, 06:27 PM
Well, I guess that's that! Still pretty neat, so let's see more! :)
XanderFX
03-02-2005, 06:50 PM
Good:

The story idea is well written and sounds pretty interesting. character design is good and the panels tell the story.

Needs work:

The overal panel layout

It tells the story but is not very exciting take a look at some layouts by jim lee and alex ross or nay of the other great comic book artists
http://www.digitalmedusa.com/foreigner1999/XMen_272_pg_15.jpg
http://www.digitalmedusa.com/foreigner1999/sale.html

and the fourth panel tends to draw thr readers eye out of the page because of the flames pointing up and to the right. Remember that you are always trying to direct the readers eye onto the beginning of the next panel. If you have some cash check out "The art of visual storytelling" by Tony Caputo http://www.visualstorytelling.com/

artwork

It looks like you have a good start but feels as though it is unfinished and rough. The coloring is somewhat muddled and the ellipses on the satellite dishes could be tightened up thy're kind of football shaped now, not ellipsoid.

Keep up the good work.
Albius
03-03-2005, 05:41 AM
Thanks for the suggestions-- here's an update with various minor improvements:

http://img233.exs.cx:81/img233/7636/graphicnovel129jo.jpg
Albius
03-28-2005, 05:47 AM
Well, I'm not sure if the contest is still active, but I had some free time, so I made another page.

I wasn't sure how to write the sound of a silenced handgun-- any suggestions would be appreciated.

-I'll probably also put some more work into the last panel.

http://img153.exs.cx/img153/637/graphicnovel20vr.jpg
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