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XEngineer
02-11-2005, 11:11 PM
Hey People:

I'm working on a real simple student animation short, and I thought I'd share the preliminary render. I've already storyboarded the story and will probably begin blocking out the rest of the short over the next couple of weeks. Yes, I need to re-render this first part and will be redoing the shadows and adding textures. In the meanwhile, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is encouraged. Thanks for your attention.

http://www.jerrykung.com/videos/pplay.html


http://www.jerrykung.com/images/pplay_still.jpg

olivierJT
02-12-2005, 08:46 AM
Hey Jerry !
You should have shown me at Gnomon today :)

Well on a composition point of view, you have choosen to make the bar angle ( i don t know how it is called) -the one at the "edge" of the walls white
Problem is that this bar white like that keeps attacting my eyes too much to it, because it is the brightest area of you animation (at least at the start)

I guess the wall plug should be the "point of attraction"
Try making this bar darker or in wood.
Like this the wall plug will attract the eyes and not the bar under it.

Wink your eyes before the plug comes, you ll see, your eyes will "see" the bar to much


Same for the brighter area of the "yellow" cord.
The "head" of the plug should be more "attractive to the eye" than it's cord.
(lower specular)


I know also that you want the power cord to be expressive, you should try changing it texture and color depending on it s mood.
If it want to be fast, it could change to a snake skin for a very flash moment... or something like that...

It could be fun to have the wall paper stick a little to the wall plug when it moves.
You have a wall paper with lines (stripes), so it could give an interesting effect.
Just a little then when the wall plug is to far go back to its normal shape.
( Put a Simple cluster on the wall where the wall plug stand will do the trick)
Give it a try it could make the wall plug more "realisticlly attached" to the wall.

Also... why did you choose to make the plug apear like "walking" ?
Why not making it apear as a thristy predator ( snake like ) looking for "power"
Sneaky like...or even kindof tired ( it has no power yet...)

On the animation side, i would have been happy to see your rig, so i could tell you more.
Next week I will pass by to G. maybe I ll see you there.

Take care, see you soon

XEngineer
02-12-2005, 10:09 PM
Hey Olivier. The textures and colors and all that stuff have yet to be worked on. I'll probably experiment with that after I've finished the animation. And I didn't animate the cord as a snake because that implies that he is a bad guy. And he's not a bad guy. He's just a regular guy walking along. I thought about a few different locomotion methods and the walk I used turned out to be my favorite. I'll see you at your party!

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