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Ognus
01-09-2005, 12:12 AM
Here is a character of mine I call L.L.
The little creature on his shoulder is a gremlin, and was inspired by the works of Miyazaki.
I am going to put a kind of mystical arbor of tree limbs and vines coming in from each side in the foreground, and behind him will be various rock formations and strange otherworldly things.
Any critiques are welcome and highly appreciated.
http://home.att.net/~ognus/wsb/media/192726/site1053.jpg

Jelo
01-09-2005, 08:35 AM
I think you should stregthen the lineart in his face, especially around his eyes and eyebrows as it's usually one of the most important regions of an image. Also you'r being inconsistent with the thick outline around his hair.

Looking forward to see more.

Ognus
01-10-2005, 12:06 PM
Thank you Jelo. I actually labored to get rid of the line art in the face, I overlay the line art layer onto his face in my next progression and resubmit the pic when it has a foreground.
I thought that by eliminating the line art on the other side of his head, it would simulate light hitting it. I will try both when it has more of an environment, and perhaps you can give me your insight as to how it seems best.
Thank you for your eyes.

Ognus
01-15-2005, 05:48 AM
I added a bit of foreground

http://home.att.net/~ognus/wsb/media/192726/site1068.jpg

Ognus
01-15-2005, 05:49 AM
Little bit more
http://home.att.net/~ognus/wsb/media/192726/site1070.jpg

Ognus
01-15-2005, 05:50 AM
still need to add moss and various characters to the rocks,
and perhaps some mushrooms somewhere i dont know.

critiques are always appreciated.

cpt761
01-15-2005, 11:55 AM
I very much like it!
Is it inspired by the Book "The Brothers Lionheart" by Astrid Lindgren?
- I think Jelo is right, you should restore the thick outline - at least at his left side of the head.
- Then again there is too much black over his right ear. And too little where the hair casts a shadow on his forehead.
- The way the black outline varies in strength around his hair looks like a bad cut&paste-job from a black Background.
Besides those details about the hair i have nothing to crit. Great Job!!!

Ognus
01-15-2005, 04:24 PM
I think you could work on the dew covered shrubbery and grasses in the background (bg) and perhaps play with the light interaction in the foreground between the boy and the rocks and leaves and things. I think you could try some hanging moss, but I dont know a very good way to make moss perhaps you can petition the board for some methods on how to great hanging moss, or just work it out yourself.
Also, you need to give the picture a unifying color, maybe overlay a color to sort of unify the light source as giving a particular hue.

Ognus
01-15-2005, 04:26 PM
Thanks Me,
I really appreciate your feedback. I will petition the board for methods on hanging moss, consider this my official petition. So, anybody know a good method for hanging moss that would go with my style? I might add that i have tried scribbles mixed with motion blurs and various brushes. It just doesnt lay on the art very well.

Thanks again me. I will take what you said to heart and try to incorporate it into my work. Thank you for your eyes.

Ognus
01-15-2005, 04:29 PM
No problem, glad to help.

Goliath
01-15-2005, 04:58 PM
hello, i definately think you should remove the lines in the hand that holds the rock, because he is just a boy.(edit: i mean those in his palm) first i was going to say u should keep your lines more thin, but then i saw you kept it in your style and it looks good.

i dont see how you could have any problems creating hanging moss on the wines, but i dunno, i think you should try again :p

allso i think it would look good if u added a little more depth in the bacground, not super detailed or anything, but some shaded trees or whatever.

and on a second look, his hand with the blue tatoo, looks bigger than the other. but keep up.

Ognus
01-15-2005, 05:07 PM
Thanks goliath. Very good comments. I agree.
I have recieved some commentary from a friend that she wished his hands were more boyish. I used to take pictures of my Dads hands and draw them, so perhaps i have worked a handicap into my art eh? I will work on that, as you are now the second person to say so.
The hand with the tattoo on it is my attempt at putting his cane slightly in the foreground, where as his other hand is put a bit in the backround, as he subtley tried to tempt whatever is following him to come out (because the stone is very powerful, although plain looking)

I think the bg needs some work too.

My lines are something i started doing to "frame" my work, then somebody commented that it was reminiscent (the line style not the art) of Alphonse Mucha, who i looked up and now enjoy quite a lot as an artist. Very good stuff.

Thank you for your eyes.

stoo
01-15-2005, 05:16 PM
I'm not much of an artist myself, but i thought i'd throw an opinion or two out anyway...

There is too much white area in the background. I find my eyes are immediately drawn to that top left corner first, rather than at the boy. Perhaps you could make the figure in the background cast some shadow rays outward to add some pattern to that area? Or maybe just some more foliage and stuff.
Also, the gremlin looks like he is not quite sitting on the boy's shoulder as much as he could be, perhaps add some wrinkle and shadow to the shirt?

I very much like the expression on the boys face, and your overall style is really impressive and quite unusual - I hope you keep it :).

stoo

Ognus
01-15-2005, 05:21 PM
Agreed. Thank you Stoo. Doesnt matter if youre an artist as long as you got eyes to see with. People generally know what they like. And I appreciate your commentary as much as anyones.

I will do something with the wrinkle in the shirt,I see your point and also add some foilage behind and around the "creature" in the back. Shadow might be good too.

Thats valuable feedback and I appreciate it very much. I will work on it presently.

Thank you for your eyes.

Ognus
01-16-2005, 04:23 AM
The work continues
http://home.att.net/~ognus/wsb/media/192726/site1076.jpg

SpiritDreamer
01-17-2005, 03:00 PM
Hey Ognus. This is Glenn. First time I critiqued someone elses work, so bear with me. First off, I think your painting has some great potential. Now down to the specifics. Your light source is coming from the upper left, rays shining through leaves aimed at the figure lose the outline on hand holding sphere and sack in his belt, put deep shadow on bottom forearm and bottom part of hand, highlight top of forearem and hand, same goes for sphere he's holding, out line can strengthen a picture if used properly, or weaken it if used improperly. If the sphere is of importance in the story of your picture, dramatize it with dramatic light and shade, maybe glow carried into forearm and hand, in fact all the way up arm, leading into his face, let your light guide the viewers eye. Put the right side of background in deep shadows with subtle highlights from the rays of light coming through tree tops. Lose outline on gremlin, depict it in shadow off boys face. Maybe give glowing eyes.
Put gray-greens where white area in background is. Now give it more depth, atmosphere perspective, only vague silouette of vines maybe. Lose blue writing on headstones, outline, make writing black, add texture to stones, make them darker so branches come more to the foreground, also put an edge on them so they look like they're in perspective. More shadows, dramatic lighting will give this picture the punch it deserves. More detail on figure in background, not too much maybe glowing eyes. In a picture like this you want your lighting to set the stage for the drama that is unfolding. All of what I said should enhance the expression thats on your boys face.
Great expression by the way.
These are just my opinions, you can take them or leave them. I'm just trying to be of some help to you.
I like your ideas about forming a group on this site. As I understand it that's supposed to be the purpose of this site.
To share ideas and concepts so that eveyone benefits equally. Everyone should be required to leave their egos at the door when they enter this site.
Hope I was of some help.
Have a good one.
Glenn

PS: I know you don't want to hear about books
but here is one that would be invaluable to you:
Burne Hogarth's Dynamic Light and Shade

http//:www.artbyglenngallegos.com

Ognus
01-17-2005, 03:27 PM
Thank you Glenn for your comments. You invested a lot into that wonderful critique and I will do a version which implements those suggestions as exact as I can.
I appreciate this insight and am somewhat shocked at all you put into your critique. This is the best critique ive ever got. There is a lot of care in it. It will help me learn. Oh and I love books, im addicted to them. My other post was geared more towards the idea that this place shouldnt need them. We all have so much knowledge collectively that if we would just form a group or a community we could help each other way more than any old book.
Thank you for your eyes.

Much appreciated.

Glen is my grandfathers name, who actually started me on painting. It is also my brothers name, who is moving to Japan for three years. Means "Valley" doesnt it?

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