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Joscoon
01-04-2005, 05:27 PM
Hey everyone,
This is my senior animation project:

http://www.goyder.org/JohnathanScoon-BobbysFirstDive.mov (http://www.goyder.org/JohnathanScoon-BobbysFirstDive.mov)


Sorry about all the leader in front.. should start after 20secs....Hope you like it. C&C please!

Joscoon
01-11-2005, 01:52 AM
ok so almost 200 views and no comments? does it suck that bad? c'mon guys, this is character animation! even the animated drumsticks gor a response! sorry, don't mean to bitch... but really i'd like to know what everyone thinks

DigitalCrystal
01-11-2005, 04:44 AM
Story is entertaining. There was something about some of the character movements that bugged me, but nothing really stands out. Perhaps the movement is a bit too stiff. The render also looks somewhat amature, if you were concerned about that as well.

Overall, nice little short.

F3D
01-11-2005, 08:13 AM
senior..wow...here I am dreaming about bachelor..
that was some funny stuff doh :)
funny detail about him blinking with one eye then the other.. :)

gg

Joscoon
01-11-2005, 01:53 PM
Hey guys thanks for the comments. I agree he is a bit stiff in some parts... and I need to work on the eyes too. I'm not too bothered about the render quality cause I'm trying to sell the animation.

Rodi
01-11-2005, 08:57 PM
Great stuff, enjoyed it, -YOu got some excellent animation skills. If I were you I would
Re-work the swimming and rising out of the pool.- Seems like you ran out of time and rushed the ending.
Good luck.

Joscoon
01-11-2005, 11:00 PM
yep, you're right Rodi. I did run out of time a bit towards the end. Actually spent most of my time working on the bouncing on the board sequence, which I'm pretty darned proud of! Thanks for the encouraging words.

Cannysage
01-12-2005, 12:40 AM
that was enjoyable. Good stuff!

joe_morgan
01-12-2005, 02:15 AM
First off, I saw you tried to make him seem afraid with the teeth chattering, which I thought was kind of cliche' and could have been better portrayed with some more emotive blend shapes. I also didn't understand what he was supposed to be afraid of... the hieght? the water? the act of diving? I don't think that came across clearly, and felt kind of rushed through. If he was afraid of diving, it kind of conflicts with his happy dance thingy in the beginning, and also the fact that he runs to the end of the diving board. Those don't seem like the acts of someone who is afraid of diving. If he had tried a couple times first, I could see him maybe doing something to work up his courage. And the part where he walks very slowly... You kind of made him look like he was tip-toeing, except he was going heel to toe and his feet seemed like they hovered too long before contact. His hands/fingers are very stiff throughout. I think the only time they even bend is on the first step of his full-shot slow walk. It also seemed like he had no control over his hands. They were just flopping this way and that like limp noodles. It just seemed unatural.

I didn't like the model. He had very little appeal I thought. I know this isn't a critique concerning the animation, but an appealing character will make your animation that much stronger.

I thought the part where he fell backwards was done pretty well though, and was probably the best part of the whole thing.

Anyhow, sorry if I sounded too harsh. These are just my opinions, and I wanted to be honest seeing as how you had about 350 views and no specific critiques. Keep on keepin on. I think this scene has potential, but just needs some work on making it more clear to the audience. I would suggest doing some storyboards and getting some more feedback on what could be made stronger.

Peace

cornbreadandham
01-12-2005, 05:44 AM
hey, congratulations on a sweet lil animation. my only critique is that it doesent start for 20sec. after i hit play...but thats just my humble opinion...great job

giloosh
01-12-2005, 06:44 AM
If you are focusing on animation only, you have done very well. The lighting and texturing could have used some work, but than again it depends what you style is.
Over all i liked it, and it was straight to the point. GOOD WORK, KEEP IT UP!:thumbsup:

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