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TopBramen
12-31-2004, 04:17 AM
Hey everyone, I'm a 16 year old high school student from San Diego. I have been very interested in art and comics lately, and have been working on getting a web comic going. The images below are of a three-panel comic which I have been working on off and on over the past month. I am quite happy with the way most of it turned out, but there is still some stuff that needs work, and I was hoping to get some more opinions on them before I move onto the next step and do them up in the computer. I'll post updates when I make them and post the final product whenever I get it done.

First of all, the webcomic has two main characters.

Bram, the one with the spikey hair, who is crazy and not what you would call very civilized.

Andy, the one with the incredibly large eyebrows, who is more civilized, and is there to keep Bram in check.

The third character in this particular comic is Teddy Bear. He is a washed up, angry old Viet Nam veteran who hates Andy.

Also, none of the text is finalized, so if you have any comments on it, that would be greatly apreciated.

Panel I

http://members.cox.net/crankap/TBcomic1.jpg

In speech bubbles:
Bram (on the right): Hey Andy, check out this talking teddy bear I found!
Andy (on the left): Talking teddy bears don't exist!

Panel II

http://members.cox.net/crankap/TBcomic2.jpg

In this one, the Teddy Bear comes alive and yells at Andy with things you might expect an old, washed up Viet Nam vet to say to a young hooligan. My plan is to fill up the background with text of his ramblings, having the upper text be large and as you go down, the intellegible text just starts turning into Blahblahblahblahblah...

I was thinking something like this: Listen up whitie! Back in Nam they told us Asians didn't exist, but we had Charlie coming over the wire this way and that! If you didn't watch your ass, you'd have something the size of your eyebrows crawling up there! Still think I don't exist boy?!

Panel III

Here is where I need more help. I'm not quite sure with what pose I should put Andy in, and if I decide to stick with this pose, I still need to redraw it (arms are really long and such).

http://members.cox.net/crankap/TBcomic3.jpg

Teddy Bear: Back in Nam we didn't cry, we bled out of our eyes!

Alright here are some other ideas I have for his pose, above I have him bent over, covering his face, crying his eyes out.

Maybe one of the following would work out better?

Running away crying?

http://members.cox.net/crankap/panel3idea1.jpg

Standing still about ready to cry like there is no tomorrow?

http://members.cox.net/crankap/panel3idea2.jpg

I'm really looking for honest crits on the drawings rather than the text, maybe composition/proportion help etc... When I'm sure I have the sketches just right I'm going to ink and color them up with a tablet.

Thanks in advance, it will be a great help for me.

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