20 second Animation : critique

[pooby]

Hi.

I would say that, after he catches the ball, it is very unclear as to what he is doing until he starts delivering the line.
I would make that stronger. ie. have him catch it, then clearly look back at where it came from, for a beat. then examine the ball and smile to himself as he thinks of the idea.

Then deliver the line. and make the poses much more exaggerated. everything looks a little toned down at the mo, with half-bent limbs the whole time.
When he reaches out - make his whole body reach out as far as possible etc...

Also, when he accidentally throws the ball. There could do with being a big 'Take' and perhaps a cringe before sheepishly slinking off. Currently it looks like he's not that bothered.

Think at each bit. 'what exactly is this character doing and what is the clearest, most amusing and strongest way of communicating that behaviour to the audience'

look forward to seeing progress

[StuartVarrall]

Thanks pooby, great advice.

Everything you've said I completely agree with, but I guess had 'conviently' regarded as being fine. Thats what happens when you've been staring at the same thing for weeks, and why a fresh perspective is really helpful!

I'll update this later today with some of your suggestions implimented.

stu

[StuartVarrall]

Ok, I've updated quite a lot over the course of the day so it'd great to get some more feedback. I've fixed a lot of things, but have also broken some bits that I'm trying to fix now...

Although I've just realised that this probably isn't the right part of the forum for critique but never mind...

Updated Animation (http://stu.hopto.org/files/animationStu02.mov)

Thanks,

stu

[StuartVarrall]

Phew, another one.
This is the latest and greated with lots of improvements and adjustments. Also it's rendered out using the final set/light setup.

http://stu.hopto.org/files/animationStu.jpg

rendered animation (http://stu.hopto.org/files/animationStu04.mov)

Things left on my todo list in no particular order [bearing in mind the deadline is later today :) ]

add thumb animation
footstep sounds
breaking of joints
offsetting animation

I'd like to hear any ideas or thoughts you may have.

Thanks,

stu

[NatXotic]

I would make him walk away the other direction, as usualy u would run away from an accident if u are scared. Also make him the comical "zip off" move for running away.

poses could be stronger after catching the ball. it looks u just try to get over lots of time with some random motion. Better shorten the soundfile or make clearer moves.

Just my 2 cents, but generaly a good start.

[sundialsvc4]

Yeah, I kinda get the same impression... you've got a couple of seconds there where the character's not quite sure what he's supposed to do next. I think that if you clipped those out, it would be stronger.

[StuartVarrall]

Thanks for the feedback, a couple of interesting points have been mentioned.
The area just after he's caught the ball is actually SUPPOSED to represent him not knowing what to do. He's doesn't know what to do with the ball until he comes up with the hamlet idea...
I didn't want to do the generic head scratching, so went for a different approach that unfortunately doesn't read as clearly. This is actually my least favorite part of the animation.

The brief stated he had to come on from one side of the stage, and off the other which is why he exits that side. Bad excuse I know, and I could have planned it better maybe, but that's the reason. :) Also earlier versions did have a cartoony zip off stage, but as I'm getting marked on the animation I decied not to take the easier path.

Anyway, here's the final animation as handed in earlier. I'd still like to work on it more to bring it up to showreel standard but for the time being the result is satisfactory.

Final Animation (http://stu.hopto.org/files/animationStuFinal.mov)

Thanks,

Stu

[ajay1589]

i like it! Its funny but i feel like the movements aren't flowing enough...he looks like hes going to tip over sometimes and he also looks like he needs to do a little less movements...im not sure how to explain it

a person wouldnt be so fidgety...?

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