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thoughtcriminal
10-29-2004, 08:08 PM
Hellow there,

I've participated in the Machine-Flesh Challange, and I would like to fine-tune my image.

I made some changes to the original version, which I think have allready made a big difference, and I'd like your opinion. you can critic anything you want, including modeling and texturing which I believe to be finished. I would really like to know what you think of the composition, and perhaps you think there's room for a different location, different lighting, more background details, a different angle, maybe even a different pose!

Everything was done using Poly Modeling in Max 6, and Photoshop CS.

here's the updated version:


http://img1.tapuz.co.il/forums/41372362.jpg

And here's the original version:



http://img1.tapuz.co.il/forums/34114664.jpg

eygji
10-29-2004, 09:18 PM
wow, that's really nice.
i agree that the textures and modeling are complete.. i like the corpping and the lighting of the new version. i am just wondering, the pose is kinda odd. it seems like she's got her hands out for something off to the right, but she's looking at us straight on.. like we ealked in on her feelding time or something, i dunno...
i guess this is barely a critisism, but it just seems like a strange pose.. if that's what you are going for, then good. if not, maybe there should be more to the story?

Mechmaster
10-29-2004, 09:45 PM
The posing of the head seems wrong to me, try assuming that pose yourself, I found that it was all but impossible to turn my head that far to the side while hunched forward like that and trying to keep my head upright made my neck ache, also I don't think the head would be so low, my chin was almost level with the top of my shoulder. I think the head needs to lifted a bit and tilted somewhat toward the right of the picture and perhaps turned slightly to the character's left for a more natural appearance (assuming the term natural can be applied to a chick with metal wings growing out of her back)
Apart from that its a very nice image though I definitely prefer the colours in the updated picture, it seemed more unified whereas in the in original picture the blue tones of the wings seemed somehow divorced from the warmer tones of the girl's body.
Hope you find this helpfull.

j breitzman
10-29-2004, 11:25 PM
For me the problem is where the machine and body meet. You've got this cool and complicated wing system, but it seems only loosely attached to her back. I want to know how it works and how it's connected. The body looks a little plastic to me too, especially at the wrists - only slightly mind you, but enough to make me notice it. That said, I really like the images and I especially like the feet.

gonemad
10-30-2004, 12:58 AM
The position of the hands makes them lose their form and makes the forearm look too tapered. Maybe if you rotated the palms in a little it might help.

Also the water is too reflective, it looks more like mercury then water. The impression I get by looking at it, is that she's suposed to be kneeling in water, and I'm not sold on that yet. She seems to be kneeling on top of it almost. If you submerge her a little more into the water, and make it more transparent it'll help the effect. That little coverage of water on the ground would provide reflection, but would be pretty clear unless it was really dirty, and if it were really dirty you'd still be able to see through it at it's surface where objects are submerged.

thoughtcriminal
10-30-2004, 11:47 AM
eygji,

100% right about the pose not telling the story. Originaly her hands were supposed to be tied to chains of some sort, and the whole image was supposed to give the feeling of solitude, and inabuility to do something you want.

Because of the tight schedule of the Challange and a wrong workflow, (instead of starting with the composition and then fine-tuning the modeling, I got trapped in the modelling of her body), I didn't have time to get the image to show what I wanted. -in that sence I didn't achieve my goal.
Well since you've reminded me that the most important thing is to tell your story (this is something that's sometimes easy to forget when you're both dreaming it, and realizing it), I'll get back and do the neccesary changes.

Mechmaster,

Yes the head... You're absolutely right. I guess I do have to rig the girl in order to get the real bones' constraints. I'll do it soon, thanks for the comment.

j breitzman,

I modeled the connection pretty detailed. Unfortunately most of the details are hidden behind that large piece of tissue, connecting her scapula to the mechanizm.
I'll add a screenshot of the details behind it as soon as I find a host for the image.

kuui
10-30-2004, 01:22 PM
i would think about involving some neuronal connections to the wings.

the pose: i would let her look to the upper right corner of the picture, to something above and let a ray of light brighten up her face like a divine gift or so.

what would be maybe a bit more of work to do, but very cool i think, that you make the part of the wings which usually is between the bones (the "flying skin" ?) like a bat and keeping the bone structure like now metallic and technical.

also i have the idea to just delete the polygons of one eye or extrude them to the inner and putting in a mechanical optical device like arnold schwarzenegger in terminator like here. this of course just counts if you use a pose where her face can be seen (like this one you already have)

http://www.pocketpcthemes.com/themes/preview/3/18803.jpg

wouldnt have to be too detailled, a structured texture and a glooming red eye.

the skin texture could use a bumpmap and some SSS effects, right now it looks a bit like plastic.

otherwise your work is very cool and i like the modelling very much!

nrek
11-01-2004, 04:31 AM
Hi, i have come in late to your work but have looked over all your poss related to this master peice. I would say that the head position might be tough to conform to but its not imposible and layed out like you have it just looks so great. Only thing i could see to change in the pose is mabe somthing around the hands , even adding those chains u talked about would be cool. As far as adding more "mech" to her i think it would just take away from her simple beauty. I read that you are a servicemen, and had wanted to try adding clothing to her. I think it would be cool just for like a haha to put her in some kind of fatiges (cant spell it i mean camo) and make her in a pose like the old images painted on the side of bomers or military vehicles.

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