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Harliban
07-13-2004, 01:50 AM
Hello, I would like some harsh critique on this picture so I may improve. I want it to look as good as possible for the commissioner.

The character is a werewolf in ripped jeans posing with his trusty sword. The character was requested to be portrayed as being rather built, about 400lbs, 7'4", and I would like help with my anatomy and proportions.

The Original Sketch: (note, some changes have been made in the colored version.)
http://www.harliban.com/pictures/gaiaonline/Tachibanakiba.jpg

Here is my coloring progress so far. It's 1707x3020 pixels in size(the size I'm working at), so it may take a while to load:
http://www.harliban.com/pictures/gaiaonline/Tachibanakibafull2.jpg

Sketched with a 0.5mm mech. pencil on regular printer paper and retouched in Painter Classic with a Wacom (I believe) Graphire 2 Tablet.

Thank you,

Harliban
07-13-2004, 03:53 AM
Since posting this, I have sinced updated the partially colored picture to give him longer and wider legs due to critiques I have recieved on another forum.

Just thought I'd give a heads up,

Cadron
07-13-2004, 05:05 AM
Firstly I would like to say that I really like what you are doing with the coloured image - the fur technique you have used looks great!

You say your brief is, 'portrayed as being rather built' and that you are wanting advice on the general anatomy. I find this rather frustrating when i see people post images which show a huge amount of talent (your coloured image), but forget that one of the most important stages is to have the right sketch to start off with!

What I am trying to say is why not do some research (which i am sure you ahve done - the head, fur etc.. looks great) and then do a whole heap of sketches BEFORE you get carried away with the final image. So with regards to the anatomy I would surgest that you do a couple more sketches - experiment on this level before going to far - if it works well in your sketch then it will work well as the final image (or if you do want to change things it souldnt be as major).

If i were you I would play around with how high the head is in regards to the shoulders. I know wolves have long necks but It feels to me that this is letting down your 'heavy build' - the long neck makes your werewolf look slender and agile (this may be what you are after - i dont know).

Another thing would be that in your sketch you can see the wolfs teeth and it appears quite menicing whereas on the coloured image it looks as though it has a big smile. The two images seem very different dispite such a small change. People forget that the face can tell a story in its self. By the way i think that the scars are a nice touch.

Finally and perhaps not the most important thing to add but I would change the sword. Your coloured image looks VERY real and the sword comes across as being slightly cartoonish (for want of a better word). That is there is incredible amounts of detail in the wolf - his fur etc but the sword is a bit 'flat' and clumsy. But thats my opinion.

Overall I think that if you do a couple more sketches to get the character you really want and then do the fur etc the say as what you ahve done you are going to have an AWESOME character!

I like your work Harliban keep it up!:)

Hope this helps,
Regards - Cade

autocol
07-14-2004, 01:35 PM
i think cadron has a good point there... if you want to play with proportions at all you've GOT to do it first!


that said:


i think his legs look too short. particularly if he's seven-four! he must have a LOOOONG torso. most comic book characters have extremely long legs and compact, stocky torsos. i'd sit down and do fifteen or twenty sketches like this one, so that you can then lavish your obviously AWESOME painting skills on the right image. i don't feel this is as good as you could make it, with regards to proportions and pose.

the fur is unbelievable. simply awesome.

the eyes are also good.

the mouth looks silly. in fact, in combination with the hair and the eyes, i think it makes him look gay. and i'm not being silly, honestly. your sketch has a menacing feel to it, the painting is starting to look like you could meet this werewolf at a mardi-gras... :eek:

keep it up, with the right development this could end up an incredible image....

kariefury
07-14-2004, 06:07 PM
For the most part the sketch look's pretty good to me. One thing that bother's me is that I can't see a stong distrubition of weight. It look's like he is standing on both leg's by how his arm's are held but his one leg look's like it is lifting up. Maybe just a little bit of ground showing would help.

The coloring look's like it is comming along well but I do not like how solidly one color certian area's of the fur are. Espically where the neck fur meet's the chest fur. In my mind I had pictured a bit longer fur on the head and neck and a shorter closer fur on the body. I know you aren't finished though so it could be you just haden't worked up to that part yet.

Another thing, in the sketch the face look's more feral. In the colored version it is lacking that. I think the feral look is better for the chacter but it depend's what the commision was for.

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