View Full Version : Short clips for critique
06-07-2004, 05:42 AM
I'd like to throw these out and get some feedback before I clear any of them for my demo reel. I've got a run cycle, a walk cycle and a revisiting of the juicebox animation challenge here on cgtalk. Please, any comments, critiques or suggestions are most welcome.
run (http://www.unraveled3d.com/external/run.mov) 716k Sorensen 3
Walk (http://www.unraveled3d.com/external/walk.mov) 612k Sorensen 3
juicebox redux (http://www.unraveled3d.com/external/juicebox_v2.mov) 332k MPEG 4
06-08-2004, 07:23 PM
nothing? not even a "you suck"?
06-08-2004, 11:53 PM
sorry i was thinking about posting the other day but i decided to help out the Rev. quickly because he only had one clip. please keep in mind, like I always say, that this is in my humble opinion and it is only my opinion. do with it what you want. but since you asked here we go.
1. the run: either the guys hips need to go up higher and land lower or you need to make the run a little faster. to me it looks like he floats just a little too much. also, his arms should bend a bit more when forward and then they should be maybe a bit more extended when behind him. his left foot needs to flop just a little more to match his right foot. throw the guys shoulders down when they come forward and then rotate them up when going back. this adds a little more fluidity. the little antennae on his head should stay consistant. there is a strong hop ever once and a while. I don't think you need that. it throws his movement off a little bit.
2. the walk: watch the guys arms. add a little sway to them. it's kind of the same problem with arms in the run. let the arm extend back and bend forward. also, make the hips come forward a little bit and then back. they don't always have to rest right in the middle. either that or don't extend the foot that far. it seems to go too far out front of his body. the hip tilt is good though.
3. juicebox: on the hops put in a little bit of anicipation and/or set up. he just jumps. in fact put anticipation in most of his movements. he seems to just move from pose to pose. i can't read the weight. plus when the box lands add a bit more seconday movement and bouce to show weight. i'm not sure if you used linear curves but maybe you should add a bit more ease-in ease-out to his movement. the timing seems to also be very systematic, as in I could set a watch to it. also, throw in a little hop or something to have his turn around make a little more sense. he just seems to stop and then turn.
I think you are doing well. I don't want this crit to seem like it's all wrong. there is a lot I see that you understand about movement. I was picky because I needed to be. that means you are doing something right. again I am not the end all be all of critiquers.
06-09-2004, 03:17 AM
I should have known posting three clips at one shot was a bad idea. Thanks for taking the time to give a detailed crit bawhabmw. There was something bothering me about the arms on both the cycles, and I think you may have spotted it. I'll give that a shot on the next pass.
If you've only got a moment any short comment about a single clip is great. I need fresh eyes :)
06-09-2004, 05:05 AM
ahah its not a bad thing
but not to many people actualy realy look into the animation forum from what i can tell.. try posting in the WIP forum, i find alot more responses wwill come from there
they all seem a bit stiff. if u let certain motions finish after others the walk would loosten up a bit. secondary motion in the swing of the arms (the hands and fore arm mainly)
i liked the drink box. i felt some of the motion was to abrupt at times, but i defineately liked the premiss of the piece and the anticipation after it touched the lever.
i cant crit the run because i m not good at them myself, but there is something stiff about it... like it rebounds... cant explain what i am thinking
anyhow, good stuff
01-18-2006, 10:00 AM
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