Do you know what this means?

[Pascaru]

hey there, is it my end? i can't read your file

[bawhabmw]

hey Greg!

dying to see your stuff but I can't view it. The only thing that somewhat worked was having quicktime convert the file and even then I only got 13 frames. can you post a sorenson3 or divx?

//benno

[posetopose]

OOOOpppsss....
I put the wrong link up. I am officially the cgtalk dumbass of the week!!!

Actually, i have 2 different versions going right now...

Ver 1.

click here (http://http://www.greglemon.com/doYouKnow_v2.mov)


Ver 2. (The changes in this version were done very quickly, so as to see how the acting would look. If I go down this path, I intend to strenghten the actions I have changed)

click here (http://www.greglemon.com/doYouKnow_v2.mov)


Take a look, and tell me what you think. I'm leaning towards version 2, I think it has more impact.

Cheers,

Greg

[mattmos]

Hey greg,
you might want to check your link to the first one there, looks like a typo.
The second clip looks good, the lip synch seems a couple of frames late at the start, but the movement of the body works well with the sound, kind of feel like he should clench his fist on 'damn thing' for more emphasis. Could experiment with having him continue walking off screen at the end rather than come to a stop? No real reason for him to stop.

Very nice short piece though :thumbsup:

[bawhabmw]

hey greg!

yeah the first link doesn't work for me either. you seemed to have put an extra "http://" in front of your address so it looks like "http://http://www.greglemon.com/doYouKnow.avi".

I feel like I have been the little brat here on cgtalk because I have been giving my opinion on everything. again to crit your stuff is a lot of fun. certainly as a SCAD alum who has made it successfully into the job world, i look up to you for some guidance. enough butt kissing, like I've been saying to other posts, this is totally all in my opinion. do whatcha want with it. I have only critiqued the second clip 'cause that's all i have been able to get.

1. facial expressions: I feel the expressions are nice, i think they could be pushed a little bit more. I love the second "means." the shape of the mouth is wonderful and powerful. i just want to see it more in the piece. on the first "do you know what this means" i feel like his eyes need to show more. I think they need to be squinted or something. there's not a lot of emotion that I can read. when he looks to his right after that he almost looks happy or complacent. not sure if that fits his mood. when he says "that this damn thing doesn't work" i think his angry face should stay on his face. i loose his anger in his face for just a bit. it might be because of his eyebrows that raise up.

2. lip sync: the sync looks good. it's a little slow or "soft" in some spots if you know what i mean. also on the first line "do you know what this means" don't forget to emphasize the "s" at the end of "means". It looks like he's saying "mean" instead of "means".

3. body movements: watch out for knee popping. it happens several times through the piece. most notably at the beginning. the foot slide to the left seems a little odd. maybe keep one foot planted while the other slides and then when that stops slide the other foot into place. the last hip movement up, his weight seems like it should be off balance. I could be wrong I only have this one view.

3. fingers: his fingers I think could be a little more expressive. i would like to the finger spread be smaller. he always seems to have wide fingers. also watch out for his right hand going through his left arm on the line "...work at all..." and watch out for his left arm as it passes through his body on "...damn thing...". it's very quick and I didn't notice it right away but that means your movement is great.

all in all i think you can push his emotion just a little bit more. i would like to see more in his face and fingers. sometimes I animate, when i have time of course, each finger individually throughout the entire thing. I think the base of this animation is great though! I like his personallity a lot! he just isn't quite totally convincing yet to me. I mean you can check out my site here. (http://studentpages.scad.edu/~bwilli28/study/) I did a whole quarter on emotion. you can decide if I know what I'm talking about at all. i don't want you to listen to me if you think i don't know what i'm talking about. ha ha.

great work as always,
//benno

[bawhabmw]

pardon me on my previous post if I sound like a know-it-all punk kid. didn't mean it that way. I got caught up in the crit. if I sounded demeaning, forgive me. this hasn't been my week on the animation thread with phrasing things.


//benno

[posetopose]

OK, updates....

right click, save as (http://www.greglemon.com/doYouKnow.mov)

I'm pretty happy with the way things are going. I do think that the weakest part of this is the begininning. I want to spice it up a bit and add some more life to it, but not go over the top too much. I'm thinking about some head turn possibilities.

Anyway, C & C welcome; please shred it if you have the time.

Thanks!

Greg

[bawhabmw]

greg,

i like this version a lot! it's amazing how little fixes here and there can improve something more than you thought. a few things i happened to think of...

1. when his hands are raised and he says "... work at all!" at the end. i feel like his hips should be twisted left to make his right hip further back with his leg and down. just on the up pose.

2. at the end as well i think his arms should rest a little closer to his side. he seems a little unnatural with them floating out a bit. and the seem to fall fast or a little strange. seemed a little jointed if that makes any sense?

3. also, not sure if you animated the fingers on his left hand at the end. his right looks great though.

4. in the same "... work at all!" pose at the end, i think his eyes go a little crazy. they feel like they are loose marbles in his head at that moment.

5. the first "... know what this means?" his left knee still does a little pop. maybe that's just my pet peeve.

6. frame 234, just noticed the frame numbers d'oh, he seems happy. it throws me off just a little bit. his emotion is great but that is the only time i feel a little lost with it.

7. i think you can still push the emotion in the fingers a bit.

i'm sorry about being picky. I'm only being picky because I like the piece! the pose at frame 193 is brilliant. i like it a lot. and the "s" lip sync about frame 104 works wonderfully. :bounce:

keep it up!
//benno

[SheepFactory]

to add to bawhab's:

- The arms are losing their arc at the end when he throws em up and gets em back down. Lots of joint breaking and weird wrist rotations going on there.


Nice start though man , keep working and it'll be killer.

[posetopose]

Yo Sheep and bawhabmw...

This is JUST what I was looking for response-wise.

Your comments were killer, and it really drew my eye to some of the stuff that my eye had been missing.

I'll post more in a day or so. Glad you guys like it so far!

Cheers,

Greg

[posetopose]

www.greglemon.com/doYouKnow_v4.mov (http://www.greglemon.com/doYouKnow_v4.mov)

to do:

- make final adjustments to overall timing of body and face controls.

- animate fingers

- animate tongue

- massage head/neck animation (seems a bit floaty in parts, maybe just needs a few more breakdowns)

- smooth character

- render

Critiques and comments are heavily encouraged.

Enjoy!

Greg

[bawhabmw]

Greg,

since you already have somethings that you know you are going to fix I am going to just make a suggestion on movements at the beginning. a few posts ago you said that you weren't necessarily 100% on it.

this could be purely stylistic. My suggestions stop around frame 142, because that face he makes there is brilliant.

1. from frames 1-25, have him stare at the clipboard with his eyes darting back and forth like he's reading the document. the reason for this, i think, is so that it would show more processing on his part of the "data" on the sheet. almost like he realizes what "it" means as he reads it.

2. from 25-107 he should lower his eyebrows down and squint a little. i'm thinking like a pensive type of look. as he does this he should shrug over, still to his right side like you have.

3. 108-130 slight pause, then have him start to come back up, look at the clipboard and grab it with both his hands.

4. 130-140 have him transition to your current pose at 140.

I'm sorry if you are happy with your beginning. I just had this idea since you mentioned possible changes to it. do with it what you will.

just a quick thing. I think his brows should be down on frame 235, because he seems to loose his emotion for a sec. I know i might have said this before but it still bothers me a bit. and frame 67 his fingers go through the board but I know you haven't animated them yet.

again though, excellent job. I can hardly wait to see it with all of the above mentioned in your post is put in.

//ben jamin'

[skull_leader]

posetopose

The animation from the part where he immediately lowers the board (frame 135) to the part where he chucks the board down (frame 250) is great from my point of view in terms of body language.

I think you can change the action at the end to "kicking the board" instead of raising his arms which I think looks odd (no offence). I can't think of a better action for the start yet, I'll let you know if I thought of one. Hope this helps. :scream:

Keep up with the good work.

[grury]

hey Greg good stuff , I agree with skulls point, of him kicking the board at the end.
apart from the points you mentioned, theres a couple of things that in my view could be improved, the 1st slide/turn of the feet, looks a bit odd, although they slightly offset, the body lacks weight, maybe a stronger antecipation would help. another thing is his right arm from the point he starts turning frame 150ish to the point he drops the board, his arm looks a bit life less at times, either feels like he doesnt have control over it and other times just feels too attached to the body.

keep em coming, we enjoying it

cheers
Grury

[Maplewood54]

Greg,
Good to see your progression on the character. It's been a while since I've been on here and gotten the chance to view some new work. I definately like where you're heading. I'm thinking that a stronger build up of emotion before he lets his anger out would really add to the composition. By the way, Ben, hi. I'll be in touch. Miss ya bro.

Christian :thumbsup:

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