run bug run! (an animated short)

[Shaykai]

Good short so far, but here are the things i think need improvment:
I'm going to critique it and pause while i watch the film.

- The first 30 seconds were credits. I don't like the 5, 4, 3, countdown circle radar thing. Its not needed, take it out.

-the credits were fictional, you were crediting the 'bug's. Therefore they aren't needed at all

- The hand that is tapping its fingers is too robotics. Right now only the fingers are moving and the hand itself is like a statue. Even some slight movement of the hand would improve this.

- The texturing of the hand is a little bland

- WHen the bug is scratching its face, once again only the fingers are moving, the hand and the head are not.

- The camera motion seems a little too fluid when its traveling down the pool stick

- THe bugs wings are too small for its body and it couldn't fly. I realize its a cartoon, so that may be the look your going for.

-When the bug takes off it just seems to float upwards. The whole flight is entirely too smooth.

-When the bug pushes the billiard ball i think it should move a little bit and then as it gains momentum the ball should fall over the edge. Right now its too sudden.

-The hand grabbing the pool stick is too robotic

- the bug that is flying should move up and down a little bit, right now he is stationary in flight, a hard feat to accomplish even for a creature made for hovering such as a hummingbird.

- The music seems to cut out for no reason and is replaced by silence.

-When the bug is signaling to the other bug the countdown, only his hand/arm is moving, no other part of his body is.

- when the bugs are running they don't seem to be touching the ground and travling the right amount of space with each stride

-The music for the race isn't very high quality

- THe bugs are both running at exactly the same speed, switch it up a little, have one pull ahead for a while, then the other one etc...

-WHen the camera flys into the bugs perspective its kind of confusing.

-when the bug is flying through the air when the ball knocks him off he seems to be soaring through the air too slowly

-i also don't understand the end, he just decided not to fly and instead fall into the ground???? he had been flying most of the short, but now he is not going to when his life is in danger?

- now they are riding on a snail... i don't understand.



Its very good that you finished your short, most people don't even do that. Take all you have learned and apply it to your next short movie. Good luck!!!

Shaykai

[slayerment]

Pretty cool. I agree with what Shaykai had to say. Keep it up.

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