A Scene from a future comic?

[Gamoron]

I see people are looking but not replying. Does it suck, tell me what's to hate and I can hopefully make changes in the future.
:shrug:

[wildsheepchase]

I don't think it sucks. The third rectangle is a little more difficult to read, but otherwise I think it's pretty cool. It has a more painting like feel, rather than comic bookish feel...but, that adds to it, I think.:thumbsup:

[Gamoron]

Oh. Thanks Wild... you mean it doesn't looka like Image and Marvel? That's good I wasn't aiming for that, but it explains why people possibly couldn't give a damn.

Thanks,

[art7sayan]

Hey Gamoron, don't think that it sucks...not at all!! It's a really good opening , but maybe that the first rectangle must show us better where the scene takes place!

Anyway, it's not a bad opening man!! Post us more if it's possible pleaz!!! :wavey:

[Psycho Ken]

We got another Disney TARZAN 2 storyboard in here~~~~!good job~post more man~! (dun ever think ur works suck~! b confidece to wat ya draw~!!) ;)
Ken.02

[Sangotten]

Yeah It sucks!!!! no, just joking!:D

I think the action looks really good except for the third frame, the view from above looks not fast enough, the first two panels bring a lot of action in it the fourth has lot's too! It's a good idea view the action from a different view but this one doesn't look convincing... soo if you can please skipp the third frame...

But overall it looks very good, keep it coming!!!:buttrock:

[Rob3D31]

Hey man, I like it. I agree with wildsheepchase's and Sangottens crit on the 3rd rectangle...maybe if it was a closeup of his foot (in run mode) snapping a twig or splashing a puddle or something...it would keep the pace and demonstrate his "wild abandon"..."omg hes not even looking where he steps!!!"...or cut it. :thumbsup: nice work

lol - Sangotten "Yeah It sucks!!!"

[Sleepless]

It's good, and ya can't think about the looks with no replies because that's the norm on all these boards. I Rob3d31 has a good idea for the 3rd frame. What really caught my I when opening this thread was the color:) for some reason it really appeals to my eye. red/green complimentary maybe? Keep going.:applause:

[Gamoron]

Thanks for the crit everyone. That's what I needed to hear. I've been thinking of doing solo pages for comic books for awhile like Lichtenstein. I never realized though that people would be completely pissed if there wasn't more. I already know the story so I guess I'm not left hanging.

@art7sayan, If I showed a page after would it be better, or would you as a reader still be wanting more info for the beginning?

@Sangotten, It's gonna hurt to do something to that 3rd frame but I guess that's why you edit.

@Rod3d31, Hendrix is an inspiration, good avatar choice. Close-up, eh? I never would have thought of that. Thank-you for a great suggestion on that 3rd frame.

Cheers guys, this is what I needed. As I've said in another thread I don't have anyone around me who does art and this forum is the only place for me to get crit.
Thanks,:thumbsup:

[Gamoron]

We replied at the same time Sleepless. Thanks for checking it out, the tech that you told me you used in another thread helped out. I'll be getting to work on that 3rd frame shortly.

So a close-up of the foot from a side angle?

[Cgkoko]

:buttrock: REally nice!Now about the third frame,Maybe a close up to his eye or mouth?

For some reason i thing that you are someone from eatpoo.Is that right?:hmm:

[art7sayan]

Yeah, if it's not in the first rectangle that you show where the scene takes place so one page later will be good 'cause in this case, your first page will be more attractive! Good idea Gamoron! :thumbsup: But in this case, it will be good to have a big illustration of the scenery!!

-art7sayan- :wavey:

[Gamoron]

@Cgkoko, no I'm not from there. I'm pretty new to the web. Thanks for the comment.

@art7sayan I'll see about that previous scenery. I'll say for now that this is page 10, and then I'll take it from there.

[ACFred]

Hey there. I hope you don't mind, but I looked at your work and, while I like what you've done, I felt I had to fiddle with the layout a little bit. In my mind, this composition adds a little more tension by forcing the runner to the edge of the page in the bottom panel. I could certainly be wrong, though.

The gray area is where you'd put a new panel. Maybe a worms-eye view of him jumping toward the viewer or something.

Anyway, this illustrates what I would have taken two pages to type.....

http://www.community3d.com/images/aziroma_comp.jpg

Keep up the good work!

Alec

[Gamoron]

Hey ACFred, it says you're a sherpa. I agree you more than carried your load. I've always been strongly for the staight ahead old style layout like how I originally placed the panels. But you created an interresting layout that I think is still very clean and I think you're right. I'm gonna take it into account and see what I can do to the image.
Thanks:D :wavey:

[Gamoron]

Ok so i looked at my work in Photoshop I got pretty hesitant about the ACFred's major change. I wanted to try something less radical to begin with and then go from there, if it wasn't enough.
What do you think of this minor change guys? A zoom and blur.:hmm:

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