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View Full Version : animtion short: so long


leekhangwei
01-10-2004, 10:55 AM
hai, this is my 3d animation. Done in lightwave 7.5 and after effects. Took me around 3 months time to finish it. It was a tough experince animating in lightwave but it was real fun and i have learnt alot throughout this project. Hope u guys like it.

Screen capture of the movie:

http://notdesign.net/~adom/khangwei/screenshot0.jpg

http://notdesign.net/~adom/khangwei/screenshot1.jpg

http://notdesign.net/~adom/khangwei/screenshot2.jpg

http://notdesign.net/~adom/khangwei/screenshot4.jpg

so long (http://www.zenithfire.com/so_long/so_long.mov): quicktime format 29meg

Yorgo12345
01-10-2004, 08:50 PM
I have to say... I love to see animation telling a sad story. the choice of music was perfect to convey the emotions you wanted.

Please understand that your effort is great, but the work feels unfished. You have the potential for a real gem on your hands here, I wouldn't bother posting if I didn't think so.

on the down side : the pacing of the cuts kept breaking the immersion of the story, and the animation was just below where it needed to be to keep me immersed also.

if it were a live action film I would say "bad editing" and "bad acting"

I sound too negative, I relly liked it, I really wanted to like it more, but the "bad acting and cutting" just kept breaking the wrolds reality for me.

if I had to give you advice, I would tell you to go back shot by shot and work on the animation untill it flows smoothly then edit each shot to flow within the context of the film. Feel the rythm of the scene (some editors actually work to a metronome, personally, I think that's weird, but you might want to do that just to get a feel for the timing of a scene and to understand the beats in each cut)

Okay, you spent 3 months creating something good. spend another month making something Great!

Good work, hope you take my advice, I would love to see this polished to completion.

HenningK
01-10-2004, 11:06 PM
Thats a very thoughtful critique, Yorgo. I also think its a great little moody piece that needs a lot more work, especially on animation.
other trouble spots would be the camera movement: it moves too much! Its especially jarring during a still scene where the sad music is playing.
And the feather looks really bad. Im sure you realize that though.
Some good points were the special effect on the robots wings at the end (really neat) and the little boy's expressions. His sad face is truly heart-breaking. It just needs better animation and then I'd believe.
My overall advice is to slow everything down, and with less movement you could really focus on the animation.
Way to go.
love,hen

3dflasher
01-11-2004, 01:28 AM
I really like the story. its very touching. I agree with what everyone said. I know that its is your first short. You should do shot studies of films. you will notice that the camera will almost never move on the shots...usually the shots go from cut to cut. Your short is really good though...specially cause its your first. I think that the story makes everyone connect with your short and they want to help bring it to that next level.

All that said. Very good job. The models are nice. They fit well with the story.

leekhangwei
01-11-2004, 08:36 AM
thanks for all the coments, i really appreaciate that, it is true that some of the shots need to be polished, for the last scene it didnt quite bring out the mood i wanted. Sad to say that 3 months time wasnt quite enough for me with all the animation rendering and editing.

SkullboX
01-11-2004, 10:30 AM
I agree with what's been said before, especially the positive stuff. The story is pretty nice, and the way you told it is very good.

Also like the others, I think you should try and turn the animation up a notch. My main issue with that aspect was weight, or rather the lack of it. Also, the timing of the animation was all in the same pace, and no anticipation either. This made the story and the animation itself really two seperate things, use the animation more to tell the story.

Something else I notised which is I think more editing than animation related, is that you seemed to want to show everything that happens. Make more cuts, show less material, but make the material you do show stand out more. I'll clarify with two example from the short.

When the boy wakes up in bed, and climbs out, cut out all the stuff where he gets up entirely, shifts to the side, swing his legs out and pushes himself off the bed. To be honest, it's not all that interesting to watching somebody just climb out of bed when it is neither relevant for the story, nor a helpful change in pacing. Just leave the whole shifting to the edge part. If your character gets up from a lying position, and is then cut to where he jumps out of the bed, nobody will misunderstand that for anything other than the boy coming out of bed.

The other thing is more or less the same, just more camera work related. As pointed out before it's not really common to have lots of camera movement if it doesn't add anything to neither the animation nor the story. When he magically summons the car, we see the boy jumping in, with a rotting camera. Instead, why not leave it static and use some cutting. So we see him summon the car, optionally see him jump in his car (although that could probably be left out, since on a point like that where speed in the motive, the pace should be fast) then cut to another camera showing him from the side, and see him start and race away. This adds some variety to the pacing, and tells the story better.

Finally, the music between minutes 1 and 2 was really awfull. I'm not too keen on the sythesizer stuff, but considering the good choice in music before and after that point you should be able to find something that sounds nicer, that fits better with the music used in the other two parts. Then again, that's very much my personal taste.

Still, despite all that I could enjoy it. The story and the storytelling felt well above average, and it didn't look bad either. So if you spend some time fixing some of the editing (especially pacing related) and animation (as pointed out before) this is a very good short. If not, just keep it in mind for the next one. Good luck!

leekhangwei
01-15-2004, 02:39 AM
wooo...this is really long man, thanks for the advise. I really hope to improve on this animation, maybe next time i will rearrange all my shot and come out with a better one or maybe reuse my kid character and come out with another short. erm...

horoXhoro
01-15-2004, 03:01 AM
great work...i like the story of your animation,
i also love dramatic ending..:cry:

technique is just a mechanic....the story itself is marvelous the content is there, this kind of fantasy world is living to every childhood minds.....great job my fren...love to see more of ur work :bounce: ooo...and i love the part when they shaking their hand,,,is anime...i love anime...ahahaha

Queen_K
03-25-2004, 09:04 AM
Noooooooooooooooo!

Man! I want to see what everyone is talking about but for some reason it can't seem to view it. I have been going to the http://www.zenithfire.com/so_long/so_long.mov site but nothing happens. Well actually it looks like something is trying to happen but doesn't end up working.

I really want to watch it.

Help!

Cheers, K.

leekhangwei
03-25-2004, 09:10 AM
i think is the bad host..i can really find any good free host...u using MSN...i can send to u directly if u wan....

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